A good first message for online dating

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Written By Of Like Minds

15+ years of experience in online dating and coaching clients to get better partners!

Online dating can be a daunting experience, especially when it comes to crafting that perfect first message. It’s the first impression you’ll make on a potential match, and it can either make or break your chances of getting a response. But fear not, as we’re here to help you get started on the right foot. In this article, we’ll be sharing tips on how to write a good first message for online dating that will increase your chances of getting a response. So if you want to improve your online dating success rate, keep reading.

A Good First Message for Online Dating

Online dating can be a daunting experience, especially if you’re new to it. The first message you send to someone can make or break your chances of getting a response. It’s important to make a good first impression and stand out from the crowd. Here are some tips for crafting a great first message for online dating.

1. Personalize your message

One of the most important things you can do when sending a first message is to personalize it. Don’t just send a generic “hey” or “what’s up.” Take the time to read the person’s profile and find something that you have in common or that interests you. Use that information to craft a message that shows you’ve put in some effort and are genuinely interested in getting to know them.

For example, if you both love hiking, you could say something like: “Hey, I noticed that you love hiking. I recently went on a great hike at [insert location] and saw some amazing views. Do you have any favorite hiking spots around here?”

2. Keep it short and sweet

While it’s important to personalize your message, you don’t want to write a novel. Keep your first message short and sweet, ideally no more than a few sentences. You want to make a good impression without overwhelming the person or coming across as desperate.

3. Ask a question

Asking a question is a great way to get the conversation started and show that you’re interested in learning more about the person. Make sure your question is open-ended and not something that can be answered with a simple yes or no.

For example, you could ask: “What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?” or “Do you have any travel plans coming up?”

4. Avoid generic compliments

While it’s nice to receive compliments, generic ones like “you’re beautiful” or “you seem really cool” don’t really say much. They can come across as insincere or like you’re just trying to flatter the person.

Instead, try to be specific and genuine. If you like the person’s profile picture, you could say something like: “I love your smile in your profile picture, it’s so infectious!”

5. Show your personality

Your first message is a chance to show off your personality and stand out from the crowd. Don’t be afraid to inject some humor or wit into your message, as long as it’s appropriate.

For example, if the person’s profile mentions that they love dogs, you could say something like: “I see you’re a dog person, which is great because I have a dog that’s convinced he’s a human. Do you have any pets?”

6. Proofread your message

Before you hit send, make sure to proofread your message for spelling and grammar errors. A message that’s riddled with mistakes can come across as lazy or careless, and may turn off the person you’re trying to connect with.


Crafting a good first message for online dating takes some effort, but it’s worth it if it leads to a great conversation and potential connection. Personalize your message, keep it short and sweet, ask a question, avoid generic compliments, show your personality, and proofread before you hit send. With these tips, you’ll be on your way to making a great first impression and hopefully finding your perfect match.

Frequently Asked Questions

What should I include in a good first message for online dating?

A good first message for online dating should include a personalized greeting that shows you’ve read the person’s profile, a compliment or question about something in their profile, and a brief introduction about yourself. Be sure to keep it light, friendly, and engaging. Avoid generic messages that could apply to anyone, and don’t come across as too eager or pushy.

How important is the first message in online dating?

The first message in online dating is very important because it sets the tone for the rest of the conversation. A thoughtful and engaging first message can grab someone’s attention and increase the likelihood of a response. On the other hand, a generic or boring message is more likely to be ignored or deleted. Remember, the goal of the first message is to start a conversation, so put some effort into making it stand out.

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